Coming Home
by Brain and Eggs
Summary: Three months set after the events in It All Runs Together. Deep loss, deep care.
1. Chapter 1

She whimpered in her fever induced sleep. Miranda gently brushed a rick red lock of hair out of her daughters face. Cassidy had found her way down the stairs with Patricia hot on her heels, knowing something was wrong with one of her masters children. Miranda had looked up from her laptop and instantly known her daughter was ill with the bug that had been circulating at Dalton. Her heart ached and reached out for her daughter. Gathering her up in her arms and rocking her gently with a blanket encircling her.

As much as Miranda wished to put her daughter back into her warm bed, her daughter had cuddled closer and had simply wished to be with her mother.

Miranda gently slowed her rocking, as her daughters eyes dropped. Drained from the dry heaving and loud coughing that had hurt her chest for the past hour, until her mother's arms held her close. Making her feel safe and warm.

Cassidy seemingly was struggling in her search for sleep, breathing difficult from her clogged nasal passages. Miranda gently began to hum, her voice soothing her daughter in a lullaby that she had sung to both her girls, for longer than the time of their birth.

Mirandas keen ears pricked up in alertness for the sound of feet clacking against the hardwood as the dry cleaning was deposited. She watched out of the reflection of the glass from one of the kitchen cabinets as she watched the sleek back and long, flowing dark chocolate hair of her second assistant.

Her daughter coughed a little in sleep and Miranda brought her closer to her chest, her heartbeat the steady beating drum that kept Cassidy in a deep sleep, long after Miranda gathered her up into her arms and carried her sleeping daughter to the twins bedroom.

…

Two weeks later.

"Yes I understand, thank you for calling. " Andy spoke quietly into the telephone, her voice soft and efficient.

She took a moment and with haste walked into Miranda's office. Andy ignored the laser glare of interrupting a run through with Paul and Lucia. Andy moved closer and blocked out the widened and startled eyes as she leant and spoke to the side of Miranda's ear.

Nigel watched the play of emotions across his boss's face, before he saw deep angst and hurt before her eyes clouded over with the possibility of glistening of tears. She pursed her lips before uttering softly to Andrea.

"Cancel everything for this afternoon."

A furious pace in everybodies wake as Miranda stalked towards the elevators not waiting for her coat, her purse already with her.

Hurricane Miranda.

Andy walked out into the outer office and proceeded to cancel Mirandas meetings, as everybody from the run through walked out looking dazed and to Andy for answers that she would not give.

Knowing there were only two reasons Miranda would leave so abruptly.

Two red headed reasons.

Nigel leant against her desk, just the two of them in the outer office.

"What happened?"

Andy looked up and paused, debating before answering him.

"That was Dalton. One of Cassidys friends died. Cassidy was with her."

_an;tbc_


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks later.

Denial.

Anger.

Bargaining.

Depression.

Acceptance.

Cassidy snorted and scrunched the leaflet into her waste paper basket. It was exhausting having everybody trying to be understanding, looking at her. Pitying her. Her mother taking time off work, which Cassidy couldn't truly remember that ever really happening in the past.

Her friend had died in her arms, and everybody was acting like she was dead too. She just felt numb. Empty.

She hadn't cried. The kids counsellor that her mom had organized for her; had been with her in the session, had held her daughters hand in the session. But the woman whom had spoken to her had been an idiot. And she had told her mother as such at the end of the session. She had told her that she didn't want to see the counsellor again.

The past two weeks every time Caroline had tried to talk to her about what had happened in Chem Lab, Cassidy had just shouted at her. Told her to leave her alone. So now Caroline was barely talking to her.

She knew her mom was worried for her, she hadn't been eating much. Their family doctor had come to see her, tried to speak softly and calmly. And all Cassidy wanted was to be left alone. Her mom and Ro had thought that she was sleeping more. Every time the bedroom door opened, she pretended to be. Hoping that they would get the message.

It had been explained to her that her friend had caught a virus and the virus had infected her heart because she had been born with a weakness.

Cassidy didn't know the medical terminology and she didn't want to know. All she remembered was everything she was trying to forget. And every time she closed her eyes it was there.

Her friend had giggled at the picture Cassidy had drawn in class about their teacher, and then her eyes had looked weird, and then she had fallen down, and Cassidy had caught her.

She couldn't remember any noise outside of Terri looking at her, but not looking like she could really see her. Her eyes had gone really cloudy.

Cassidy had just continued to talk to her. Tell her that she was going to be okay.

She wouldn't understand how she had known, but she had felt Terri disappear. And yet she still continued to talk to her, tell her that she loved her. And that she was the best friend, and they were going to go the movies on Saturday and the doctor would give her some medicine and she was going to be fine.

She remembered stroking her friends hair.

Patricia whined and nuzzled her ankle. Cassidy sighed and rolled her eyes in such a way that to everybody else would be exact to how her mother looked in annoyance and frustration.

She got up slowly off the bed, and slowly opened the door, before padding down the stairs. Trying not to draw attention to herself.

She watched the back of the Harry Potter girl, hanging clothes up in the closet.

Before sighing gently, and scraping her foot against the step below her.

"Hi Andy."

_an;tbc_


	3. Chapter 3

Andy turned around to the soft, strained voice at the foot of the stairwell. Her face was gentle and she gave a small smile.

"Hey Cassidy. How are you?" Her question was soft, in between the chimes of a clock past the foyer.

Cassidy pressed her foot up and down on her heel before replying.

"Bad." She sighed and sat down on the second to last step off the bottom, hugging her knees to her chest.

"Yeah, things have been better huh?" Andy said, before moving and sitting apart from Cassidy on the stairwell.

"That's for damn sure."

Andy allowed a smile from the corner of her lips. "Does your mom let you speak that way?"

Cassidy leant against the bannister and continued to press her foot up and down on her heel. "No."

Andy hummed lightly, waiting patiently. Moments passed by before the redhead felt comfortable in the presence of the brunette who did nothing but sit and say nothing.

"Everybody is mad at me."

Andy gazed at the young girl before uttering quietly. "No they're not."

Cassidy shook her head. "Yes they are. Caroline is mad at me because I yelled at her. And dad is mad that I'm not talking to him. And mommy is mad that I'm not eating a lot. And I bet her two dads are mad at me a whole lot."

If Cassidy had turned around she would have seen tears glistening in Andys eyes.

"Sweetheart. They are not mad at you. They are worried about you. They love you, and they don't know how to help."

"I still think Mark and Damien are really mad at me. I couldn't save her."

Andy pursed her lips, before moving a little closer on the stair. "Sweetheart they are not mad at you, they are upset and angry because they love her. It's not your fault."

Cassidy pursed her lips and squeezed her eyes tightly. Why she suddenly felt like she could speak, to this girl who worked for her mom. When she really didn't know her at all, apart from the fact that she was really nice. And didn't tell on her and Caroline about Harry Potter. Or maybe it was because she had overheard Andy a few months ago, having lost her brother.

"I think it's my fault."

"Why?"

"Because I couldn't do anything. We've not been taught a whole lot of first aid yet. I could have pressed on her chest and saved her if I had known how."

The voice was so small it could have been spoken by a little mouse.

"Cassidy, you couldn't have done anything."

"How do you know? Are you a doctor?"

"No, but I know your friends heart was weak. And the virus that had made her sick … nothing would have helped honey."

Cassidy balled her hand into a fist and roughly wiped her eyes. "But how? She was ten. She was two months older than me. And she just …died. Right here near my chest. And I just sat there." Her anger showing through.

"I don't believe that for a second."

Cassidy looked up and frowned. "What do you mean?"

Andy tilted her head sideways. "Cassidy, I know for a fact that you did not just sit there."

"But I did."

Andy raised her eyebrows and waited. Cassidy continued to stare at her until she turned her head and spoke again.

"Fine. I told her I loved her, and I stroked her … hair" She finished, but barely managing. A tight lump in her chest, that made her ache.

Andy blinked away tears. "And you think you did nothing? Cassidy, what you did is the most special thing that anybody can do. You held her in your arms and told her you loved her. Cass … "She paused, the conversation overwhelming as she thought of her brother.

"Cassidy, if anybody is going to admit to anything, when it comes to death. It is the fact, that what you did is all anybody wants. In their final moments. To know they are safe and with people that love them."

Cassidy sniffed, and let out a small sound that sounded like a whimper. She suddenly began to feel suffocated; she turned around and looked at the brown haired assistant.

Andy brushed a lock of hair off her face. "It's okay sweetheart."

Cassidy held her face tightly before she couldn't anymore. She bent her head down, and began to weep, before it became a crashing sob.

She couldn't see anything past her salty tears, before she felt gentle arms coming around her, and holding her tightly, allowing her to let go.

_an;tbc_


	4. Chapter 4

Andy looked up from her hold on Cassidy, to see Miranda standing in the foyer archway near the stairwell. Staring at her baby, as tears slipped from her eyes. Watching her child fall apart. She moved closer, slowly, so as to not spook the young girl who hadn't been able to speak very much.

Andy continued to hold Cassidy, who cried into her chest. Her blouse covered in salty liquid. Miranda sat on the bottom step to her daughters right side. Cassidy felt another warmth near her. The comforting smell of her mothers perfume, and body wash. She allowed Andys hand to move her, as she leant and clung into her mothers arms, crying. Not being able to speak but cry.

She began to hold her mother tighter as she began to scream and kick her legs out as she remembered her friend.

Andys hands stroked her back, wiping away her own tears. Wishing that she had the bravery of this ten year old to simply let go, and scream and cry when she missed her brother so desperately.

Miranda cupped her daughters head gently, brushing her hands through wavy red hair. She ignored everything around her, and began to hum lightly into her youngest by ten minutes ear. She rocked her back and too.

One hour later Cassidy, Miranda and Andrea sat on the same step level. Cassidy in the warm embrace of her mother, holding the brunettes hand in silent comfort, feeling the kindness from her.

She sniffed and wiped away her tears and runny nose with her sleeve. The reprimand at any other time would have fallen from her mothers lips. But not this time. Miranda simply pulled out a folded, clean white handkerchief from her pants and wiped away the dried crystals on her daughters cheeks. Before holding her again.

"I'm really gonna miss her."

"I know my darling." Miranda uttered softly, stroking her daughters hair. Watching the brunette who hadn't moved, despite her position, twisted on the step looking anything but comfortable.

"Andy?" Cassidy murmured, from the security of her mothers chest.

"I'm here." Andy answered, rubbing Cassidys arm.

"Do you still miss your brother a whole lot?"

Andy paused in silence. Only she and Miranda realising that Cassidy must have overheard part of their conversation three months ago. A conversation that had led to an hour of talking quietly in the townhouse. Weaving in and out of the conversation of her brother. And Miranda speaking to her about her parents. The pair sharing some wine. Before Andy had left for the night.

It had not been spoken of, until right now. But something had shifted between them. Patience and an understanding that was taking the first tentative steps towards something. In between eyes that gazed for longer than usual at the Runway offices.

Andy knew it had been a few minutes since Cassidy had spoken, and although unsure, she answered in honesty of the redhead who struggled against her understanding of a loss that should never have happened.

"Yes sweetheart. I do still miss him a whole lot. Always will."

"Was he with someone?" Cassidy asked, her voice croaky.

Andy stared down at her, before looking up to Miranda and blinking away the single tear that left her.

"No. No he was alone." She sniffed and wiped away her pearls of loss and deep pain.

"But I … I have … hope. That he knew." She spoke softly. And that was what it came down too. She prayed to a deity she didn't believe in, that in that moment of her brother leaving her. That he knew how much he was loved.

"He knew." Andy looked up as Miranda spoke the two words that washed over her.

"Andy?"

"Yes Cassidy?"

"Does it get better? I mean, does it get easier?"

Andy looked at Miranda, who held her daughter closer. She looked down at the floor, the light reflecting her image off the hardwood.

She looked at the young blue eyes that stared intently at her, beyond the red cheeks.

"Cass … do you want the honest answer?"

Cassidy looked up to her mother before looking down into her lap. Her hands tracing her mothers.

"I want you to lie … but I need you to tell me the truth."

Andy sniffed and reached out and cupped Cassidys cheek. Silence gold and timeless over the three of them.

"It never gets better. It never gets easier. But I promise you, time … time helps make it a little misty."

Cassidy nodded and let tears leave her freely. Miranda pressed a kiss to her daughters head.

"And know that the people who love you, will help you too." Andy finished before turning away and wiping away her own tears.

"So more love is the answer?" Cassidy asked quietly, after a few minutes.

"Always my darling. " Miranda said firmly into her daughters ear, pressing a kiss to her head. "Always." She said, blue eyes looking into Andreas eyes.

_an; it's hard to try and remember your ten year old self, but weirdly, kind of cathartic. xx_


End file.
